There's been the most unexpected result from this Insanity Challenge.
And, since most of you email instead of sharing via comments, I want to repeat what many of you have figured out. This might be an Important Discovery, along side boundaries, detaching and limbo.
Giving a face to our Insanity has taken away her mystery, her power and control over you. It's easier to recognize her grip and stop her before she gets started. It's easier to derail Insanity and become better friends with Sanity. We are more available to become our genuine, real selves.
This is what I love best about MM's Insanity.
What has realizing your Insanity done for you?
She writes from His Problem Is Not The Same As My Problem = HPINTSAMP!!! That acronym itself is insane but, I had to do it! Her Insanity seems distinctly like a flipped out, freaked out, larger than life acrobat.
My insanity strikes anywhere and always out of nowhere. All I have to do is turn my head and “bam!” there she is, with her body so close I can feel her breath send a shiver down my spine. Before I know it I find her fingers clutched tightly around my arm, pulling me along as she speeds this way and that. She is constantly on the go. Nonstop moving. Nonstop talking. Nonstop darting. Her arms flail about her as she talks and as I try to follow her movements, my head jerks this way and that way and up and down until I don’t know which way is which anymore. She wears dreads that bounce and flail as she moves. She wears bright, multi colors and her thick clothing is loose and long. When she spins, it spins. When she bounces, it bounces with a life of its own. Each movement is disorienting. She wears a long, thick, and colorful scarf that wraps around her face and flails along behind her, bouncing around like everything else. She is like a fluid – like a snake. Her words are venom. I never see her face.
I feel helpless when I am with her. She races. She moves. She darts. She jumps. And all the while, she is pulling and dragging, her grasp growing tighter and tighter. She won’t let go and her fingers dig into my arm. Her voice never stops and I strain to understand what she is saying. I only catch pieces of words, bits of phrases. She speaks in absolutes. Her favorite words are always and never. I can’t think straight when I am with her. Her tongue clicks incessantly. The intonation in her voice rises and falls. She hisses. She mumbles. She shouts. Hisses. Whispers. Mumbles. Shouts. She never stops.
She rushes me along. Pulling, pushing, dragging. Never stopping. Darting to and fro. My head hurts. My head spins. Everywhere I look, I see bright lights. Quickly flashing on and off again. Spinning, colored lights. I close my eyes and all I see are spots. The floor bounces. The walls move. The spinning, the swirling, the bouncing keep me disoriented. I am never on solid ground when I am with her. I am never still. She moves so quickly. She grasps so quickly. She talks so quickly. Before I know it, I’m on a wild ride, transported somewhere I didn't mean to be.
She is never, never still. She never stops talking. She never stops moving. She’s constantly running, dragging, pulling, talking, shouting! Her destination is everywhere and yet nowhere. I can’t think when I am with her. I can’t speak when I am with her. I can’t find solid ground. I can’t stand still. When I am with her, I feel it will never end. When I am with her, I feel that I will never be safe.
Sanity saves me. Sanity doesn't seek me out. She doesn't pull or push me along. I must seek her - within myself. Sanity is grounded. Sanity is peaceful. Sanity is calming. Sanity is still. When I am with her, I know I will be ok.