How did you...?

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I'm putting this out here just as it is because it's perfect.  Have we not all asked these questions?  Searched for the answers?  Found some and not others?  Been tumbled up and down and caught in the whirling spin cycle of the "nightmare proportion of a washing machine"?

A reader writes:


Hi Scabs, 
I am in a nightmare proportion of a washing machine, with hot water one minute and cold water the next. I'm up then down, left then right, sad then angry. I know this is 'normal' for the place I'm in, but jeeze man, I'm loosing it. 
I'd love to ask you and anyone else who reads this some questions...
-What was your marriage relationship like before your whole world blew apart?
-Do you believe you are/have been codependent?
-Why, exactly, did you choose to stay in the marriage and to forgive?
-How did you manage to forgive?
-How did you overcome the repulsion you felt for your husband?
-How do you live with the problem of lost trust? 
-How do you cope with the risk of not knowing if and when he will relapse?
Thanks.

As for me,  I'm mulling over these questions as I clean my embarrassingly messy house and prepare for my daughters 11-year old birthday party camp-out.  This holiday weekend I hope to get to all the unanswered emails that have been sitting in my inbox and usher in summer by laying in a hammock, drinking lemonade and grilling a hot-dog or two.

Hope you weekend gives you the clarity and peace you're looking for.
xoxo,
Scabs